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Lesson of the week: a rabbit hole can take many different shapes.

When my friend Sarah (responsible for my purchase of the A Beautiful Mess app) announced that she would need mix CDs for her cross-country road trip, she had no idea that she was essentially throwing on a pair of White Rabbit bunny ears. I told her I’d like to help out and planned to make her a little assortment of what’s on my current playlist. “From you in particular,” she said, “I’d like a 90s mega mix. I feel like you’d be really good at that.”

SHE

WAS

RIGHT.

Down the rabbit hole I fell.

Now, the first thing you should know is that I was an over-achiever in the 90s. And the next thing you should know is that, unlike the babydoll dresses, my over-achievement didn’t start and end in the 90s. Remember how I functioned on over-drive when I was building the Hill Center store? Remember how I was up on the scaffolding graffiti-tagging the wall and zipping over to 12South for our moving sale and loading antique pinball machines into the back of a truck? All in the same day? And loving every minute of it?

Building the 90s mega mix for Sarah is JUST LIKE THAT.

It has consumed me and given my days new purpose. I quickly learned that a mere sampling of the 90s was not something I could deliver. It needed structure and depth, so I began the research and revisting. I sorted through the boxes of CDs stored in my childhood bedroom, encountered old friends, and had to will myself away from distraction by anything recorded after 2000. My desk is now flooded with notes and resurrected relics of a life I had packed away decades ago. Even my outfits are becoming music inspired:

{Sonic Youth, blue suede shoes, Phoenix; you get it.}

So, the only answer was to expand the project and journey farther down the hole. The one-disc mix found a Wonderland “Eat Me” cake and grew larger and larger. I thought about different groupings for the CDs: things we now talk about nostalgically as our favorite 90s music because it makes us seem cooler vs. things we were ACTUALLY listening to in the 90s (yes, I went to Lilith Fair). And do we make an entirely separate CD for the ska moment that happened in the mid-90s?

The history is overwhelming me, so I’ve decided to let it guide the way instead. Sometimes the easiest answer is simplicity: do a chronological study. Instead of telling Sarah what to think about the 90s or imposing my personal experience and judgment upon her, I’m sending her off with a 10-disc set that takes her on a chronological voyage from 1990 to 1999.

A week of unwavering focus and 10+ hours of your favorite sounds seem like a lot to deliver to a friend at her going-away party, but the truth is 1) that’s just how I do, and 2) she has given me so much more. Sure, she had no idea she was doing it, but she gave me back my rabbit hole. She reminded me that when I fall, I fall hard. And she reminded me that I love the intensity and singularity of my type of fall.

So, right now I’m listening to 1996:

So far, it’s my favorite, but I think I’ve said that about every year. And I hope I don’t stop.

It started innocently enough, as most things do. It was a Thursday, and my dear friend Sarah Rhodes and I were long overdue for a friend date. I don’t use the word “dear” lightly. Sarah occupies a very special place in my heart. She first came into my world on 12South, where she made me coffee at Frothy Monkey, visited the porch swing at our magic house of a store, and looked a little something like this in our original two elle tee:

By some incredible stroke of luck, she and her husband Josh chose to make Phoenix their new home at roughly the same time I did, and they’ve been a source of strength, connection, and Southern comfort on this journey. You can read more about her at www.arrowandapple.com, but for now, just trust that she’s a creative dear and an inspiration.

So, when she suggested we try Nami, a vegan pastry shop in Phoenix, and promised dairy-free frozen yogurt, I was there.

Here’s what: ask me to go here any time. I will say yes.

It was a beautiful yet bittersweet afternoon, because Sarah and Josh will soon be relocating for a new job. Sarah will be working for A Beautiful Mess, and that, friends, creates trouble for you and me! As many of you know, I’m an outrageously loyal friend. When Sarah told me about the A Beautiful Mess iphone app, loyalty dictated that I immediately purchase it.

It turns out that one can use this app to create little “outfit of the day” collages, which means that I’ve learned a new trick! If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter (@twoellerachel), you already know that while Sarah prepares for bigger and brighter things, Rachel has been making some beautiful messes.

This particular mess is a Marc Jacobs Paris hat, a Kate Spade silver linings necklace, a J.Crew top, Madewell heart pants (ok, pajamas….sleep meets street!), and Nike Sky Hi Air Revolutions.

And this mess: Marc Jacobs beanie, Crewcuts dress (yes, we wear sundresses in January in Arizona), charcoal Chucks, Tarina Tarantino heart bracelet, and my own Rainbow Loom creations. Obvi.

Sarah, my red-headed heart, I will miss you dearly, but thank you for leaving me with this beautiful mess to play with!

xoxo

OK. So, I suppose if you’re trying to create a universally appealing pop culture nostalgia moment, you shouldn’t choose a show that only lasted one season. I really thought that Jordan Catalano had touched so many lives, but I’ve now spoken to representatives from SO MANY AGE GROUPS, and no one knows who he is. My sage Isabella (age 12) encouraged me to sprinkle in a little 2014, so here goes: a fast and loose version of my first 15 days of 2014.

Makeup has re-entered the building. When we went makeup shopping and I dumped too much knowledge on her, Isabella thought it was insane that I knew (and owned) so much but wore so little. Look, I’ve been on a break and have become a bit of a Nike queen, but point taken. Makeup is back. For Isabella, and really for good, clean fun. Plus, my brother Danny is working for violetgrey.com, so it’s becoming too present to ignore. Oh, and that’s Chanel on the lips and Marc Jacobs Glinda on my nails.

Although my proverbial palette runneth over, one makeup item was missing: another Nars lipstick to complete the display pictured above. I think I started functioning as a merchandiser when I first joined the Anthropologie team in 1999…..and I never stopped. Even in my home, I’m merchandising displays. So, problem solved when Mom and I got matching Guy Bourdin Nars lipsticks in Last Tango:

These first 15 days also have me a little obsessed with and inspired by Rachel Antonoff. She first had me when she collaborated with Bass, but I’m currently loving my new El Royale sweatshirt:

I even wore it to my community college moment (more on this as the story develops; it’s only the first 15!):

HOWEVER, while at community college, I was pleasantly surprised that their bathrooms matched my Marc Jacobs Lux nails (Yes, I judge a school by its bathroom, among other things):

So, there you go, kids. It’s been a busy 15, and I’m kind of exhausted. Oh, and I bought myself a Rainbow Loom, because no one took the hint even though it was the ONLY item on my Christmas wish list.

Spoiler alert: Rainbow Looms are more complicated than I’m comfortable admitting.

So, 15 days in, and 2014 is looking colorful and inspired, just the way I like it. And as a final note, these are saddle shoes, Isabella. Playful girls like me wear them on days when we have to be fancy!

Confession: I had been trying to come up with a reason to post about Jordan Catalano, so his Golden Globe win last night was, for me, fortuitous more than it was inspirational, if we’re being honest. Also, let it be stated that I fully understand that Jordan Catalano is not a real person and that Jared Leto is. However, this is about Jordan and Angela; it is not about Jared and Claire.

I talk about the 90s too much. I name drop 90s pop culture, music, TV, and fashion as if these references are both relevant and cute. This was me in the 90s:

Gap shirt. Guess jeans. Naot shoes. MAC Spice on my lips. I apparently knew 90s pop fashion before I knew I knew 90s pop fashion. The strange part is that during the actual 90s, I was the bookish academic. Whenever we “cast” our favorite shows, I was always Andrea Zuckerman or Ross Geller. Always! And I was obviously too much of an Andrea or Ross to ever admit that I really wanted to be Angela Chase.

I don’t think I am over-stating it when I say that if you were a teenager in the 90s, Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano defined you. (OK, also maybe Ricky or Rayanne….but definitely not Sharon or Brian Krakow. Nobody wanted to be Sharon or Brian Krakow until we grew up.) My So-Called Life was this special secret, because even though it lasted only one season, somehow we all saw it. Even a nerdy little loner like me overheard my own plaid-flannel-shirt-wearing Jordan Catalano talking about the show in our high school quad and somehow found a way to watch it.

Somehow, before its untimely cancelation, My So-Called Life told us who to be. And we listened. We all dyed our hair Angela Chase red in order to rebel, we all rolled our eyes at the brainy Brian Krakows, and we all fell in love with the Kurt Cobain knock-offs with the scratchy voices and the after-school bands.

But here’s the trick about Jordan Catalano: he wasn’t that special. He wore the same plaid shirt and corduroy coat as the guy sitting next to me in history, and that’s why we liked him. He sighed a lot, so we could assume some Cobain torture (minus the Converse), and that was all we needed in the 90s: a sigh, a gaze, and a lot of angst. This was before Seth Cohen drew comics or Lonely Boy exploited the upper crust with his lit wit. Back then, we didn’t want the hidden gem with the intellect; we wanted the guy who couldn’t read! Yes. Reminisce on that one, kids. JORDAN CATALANO COULD NOT READ. That’s how he and Angela connect! She discovers his secret and then tutors him! This is the boy we fell in love with!!! This is what the 90s taught us.

And this, dear friends, is how we grew up. Our show got canceled, we stopped dying our hair that same burgundy red, and the boys learned how to read. Everything changed. The artist formerly known as Angela Chase went to college (with me, for what it’s worth) and then grew into deeper roles. I grew out of my Jordan Catalano plaid shirts and then started selling plaid shirts to boys who only knew Jared Leto as the guy from 30 Seconds to Mars.

The stories continue; there is life after cancelation. My show was canceled, but my love affair remains. I will fall for new plaid boys:

And I will take my plaids and mix them up with other prints to keep them wonderland-appropriate:

Sometimes good things are canceled too soon. But somehow everyone finds their place again. My So-Called Life is now a DVD set on my shelf. Claire Danes and Jared Leto now have Golden Globes on their shelves. And my closet, of course, remains lined with plaid shirts. Oh, and sorry, friends, that we haven’t even talked about Doc Martens and my commitment to the babydoll dress-combat boot movement. Here’s what: let’s just hope that Neve Campbell wins something soon so that I can do a tutorial on being Julia Salinger.

Look, I just did a 10-season Friends marathon over the holidays, so maybe Ross has shouted, “We were on a break!” one too many times, but I can’t help but agree. I’ve been on a break. Perhaps it doesn’t have to be a break-up or a break-down per se; it’s just a break. As such, I have my fairytale muses all mixed up, but given that my favorite purchase for my new home was this Ikea children’s bed that I put in my backyard, I’d say I’ve become more Sleeping Beauty than wandering Alice.

For awhile now, I’ve been saying that I’m having a post-fashion moment, but the beauty of fashion is that it takes all kinds of superheroes, and it will adapt and find you in your moment, even if you’re curled up in your colorful Anthropologie blanket, slowly sipping your french press coffee hoping it will stir you to the next adventure. But I’ve always said that the adventure is in the journey itself, so I will wait no longer. I will embrace this moment for what it is and reveal to you my current wardrobe: SLEEP MEETS STREET. There are a lot of sweats, but in my defense, both the sweatshirts and the sweatpants are shrunken and fitted. However, if I hit a bag lady moment where I’m more Evil Queen delivering an apple than pretty princess napping, I hope you won’t hold it against me. For now, there’s been this:

An old Wildfox tee plus J.crew cardigan. The Kate Spade donut sweatshirt from Fall13 with a paisley button down.

This Free City “I Love You” sweatshirt that is as soft as it is darling and makes me wish I owned everything Free City makes (spoiler alert: Free City isn’t exactly priced for a Sleeping Beauty salary).

And my favorite: the Current/Elliott snow leopard sweatpants. A little bit sleep. A little bit street. Just the way I like it.

In an equally triumphant moment, the girls behind Current/Elliott have developed a line called Emily & Meritt for Pottery Barn Teen. It is brilliant and has my indoor Sleeping Beauty chamber looking like this:

So, I like a world where every bella gets a prefix. You met me as a bouncing bunny bella, but then I took a break. I traded in my bounce for a nap until I met an Isa-bella. What Isabella reminded me is that while my story may not be “conventional,” it is special to those who get it. And I like those! The beauty of the fairytale is that any kind of Jack and any kind of Jill can find a happy ending….even if they take a little nap in the middle. Perhaps the nap can even be helpful. Truly, how else would Alice have gotten to Wonderland or Dorothy to Oz? A bella needs her sleep to conjure her big adventures!

So, maybe Sleeping Beauty wasn’t cursed. Maybe she was just a dreamer.